Little bit of poetry?

Question: Little bit of poetry!?

here are a few line of a poem i wrote please tell what you think

in her heart she aches
in his he moans
broken hearted
and left alone

another night passes
lightning flashes
a plane crashes
things they sharred smashes

another night they
could have been together
in each others arms
forever and everWww@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

the first piece of poetry i've read on yahoo answers that i actually like!. alot!.

good job!. :)Www@QuestionHome@Com

Sounds a little to goth/emo to me!. I can see where you're going with your content, but you need to be a little more creative with your words!. I see you're trying to rhyme; remember poetry doesn't have to rhyme!. I gave up on rhyme scheme a long time ago, it's just not for me!. I find free verse or just straight up imagery with no pattern works better in today's world!. Try it out sometime!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

it's prettyWww@QuestionHome@Com