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Question: Do you like my poem!? please don't be afraid to critique it!!?
Frosted Glass
By:Jordyn

I feel like I am behind frosted glass!.
I see is un-clear to me!.
My brain is scrambled and I can hardly take it any more!.
Everything I do is wrong in some way or another!.
My friends are gone and I’m alone!.
I try to look to Jesus but it is so hard!.
You can’t have a conversation with Jesus!.
He doesn’t talk to you!
I need someone to talk to, to come over on weekends, to IM me!
It isn’t fair!
What have I done wrong!
I just can’t do it anymore!
It is too hard!
Noting is right!
It is too hard to fit in!.
In middle school you blend in or you get eaten!
And currently I’m white on a black wall!
I keep trying to keep up with my faith but it’s so HARD!
I just want to cry and scream into everyone’s face and to tell them to LEAVE ME ALONE!
No one understands!


I wrote this when the girls at school were making me upset!Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
I see is unclear to me!.
( I see its unclear to me )
or
(I see it is unclear to me!.)

Everything I do is wrong in some way or another
( Everything I do is wrong in ( one way or another )

The poem is about people even friends
who hurt someone's feelings
You are going through stress
because of lines like I can't take it any more
My friends have all left me
and trying to keep up the faith but its too hard

Be kind to yourself
don't be hard on yourself
look after yourself
Real friends are ones who don't abandon you when you need them and when they need you!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I'm sorry if this has happened to you!.!.!. in real life part of it is

true!.!. ur write when you say Jesus can't have a conversation

with you, but i know he hears you and might respond to you in

some way :)Www@QuestionHome@Com

Roybaby!.!.!.you should change your name to Crybaby!. Shouldn't the word 'Everything' start the 2nd line!? It was okay for what it was, but a bit whiny!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

the sentiment of the poem is honest and true!. the structure and word usage could use some work!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Me: Wow!. Wow!. Slow down!.
Okay, first of all!. Things can be hard, but don't turn away from your faith!. And, maybe your friends going away wasn't all that bad!. You need to figure things out in your head!. If you aren't happy with yourself, it isn't something that friends can automatically fix!. Trusting God can be hard, I know, seriously!. But right now its important!. Stay strong and be bold!. Don't worry about what other kids think of you, its not important!. God bless!.

My friend: Look, I'm not too happy with myself, either!. Low self esteem problems, blah blah blah!. I really don't like pretty much all of my friends, and right now I'm away from one of my best ones!. It's hard, trust me, I know!. But you know what, you have to deal with it!. Not saying your problem isn't tough or important!. You just need to find a way to deal with it!. Find someone like you, who's being eaten by the mean people, and try to become friends with them!. The world can be lonely, but if you reach out and find someone to help you along, it's muuch, much better!.Www@QuestionHome@Com