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Position:Home>Poetry> Critique My Poem: Life is a Salad Bar!!!?Question: Critique My Poem: Life is a Salad Bar!!!!? Rich and Poor
There are some People rich There are some People poor Some people have more Some people have less Some people Have happiness Others Unhappy and sad Life is a mix A salad bar Full of tomatoes Cucumbers And Onion rings!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: The idea behind this poem is unique!. The ending is much stronger than the beginning, though!. It seems like two different poems put together!. I would consider editting the title to "Salad" or "Salad Bar!." Start with "Life is a mix," and then continue to add to your poem!. Work with the image you have going here, the colors, the feelings the colors, textures, items emit!. By saying "life is a mix" you've already established what this poem is about!. Show, don't tell!.!.this will develop into a fun poem about a serious subject!. Best wishes!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Love it! its funny and true how bout' mine!? http://answers!.yahoo!.com/question/index;!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com It's cute really like the ending where you added the humor, it kind of gave it a little twist!! CheersWww@QuestionHome@Com Try harder - hardly worth the effort it took to read!. You have been 'Ianoed'!.Www@QuestionHome@Com nice poem!!Www@QuestionHome@Com |