Question Home

Position:Home>Poetry> How much work does this poem need? It's short, please read!?


Question: How much work does this poem need!? It's short, please read!!?
Thoughts of an Individual by Maria
--------------------------------------!.!.!.

Individuals!.!.!.!.!.

with induvidual stories

and individual lives!.

Each soul!.!.!.!.!.

Each life has depth!.

Arrogance!.

Egotistical!.!.!.!.!.!.!.

Why!?

You are not the only individual, with a story, and with a life!.

You get up!.

He gets up!.

You work!.

He works!.

You suffer!.

He, also suffers!.

You are not the only individual!.!.!.!.

Therefore, you should value life!.
--------------------------------------!.!.!.

Calling to all Pro-War, Politicians, Racist People, and and basical all selfish people!!!

I am very upset that you don`t value life but you value riches!.Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
You write about a profound truth!. It seems a very emotional approach to this truth—there is the great emotional power of conviction in your words!. I appreciate that you are willing to share your thoughts!. Thank you!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I like it, but it doesnt flow!.
I think it seems to have too much structure!. Structure is great for some poems, this just doesnt seem to be one of them!. I am not totally sure what you should do to correct this, but I am telling you what I think is the problem!. Other than that, the message is great!. =]
Answer mine please
http://answers!.yahoo!.com/question/index!?!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Love the concept! In fact, i've written about this subject before, too!. Maybe a little more development, but the meaning comes across quite well I think!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I love it needs little work thought!. I'am a critc so contact me if you want!.Www@QuestionHome@Com