My New Poem, How is it?

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Question:

Wanting to spit out the jarred thoughts is
Because there's no other proof of my existence
My future that I should've grabbed hold is
Conflicting between "dignity" and "freedom"

Wanting to erase the distorted afterimage is
Because I'll see my limit over there
In the window of the excessively self-conscious me
There are no dates in last year's calendar

Erase and rewrite
The pointless ultra-fantasy
The unforgettable sense of being

Revive
Rewrite
Even meaningless imagination is the driving force that creates you
Give it your whole body and soul

After cutting my feelings that grew, I cry
After realizing that after all, I'm just a mediocrity, I cry

Erase this depressed heart, this dirty lie
And rewriteWww@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

Loved this!.!.!.the intro was great, and the momentum built up as I read it!.!.!.it got better and better and better!. Awesome!. this is the best i've read all night! Hope to read more of your work!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I think I've heard this poem before - there was girl who used to write about not being able to write in my theatre group!. I don't have any sympathy, and I don't think a lot of writers and readers of literature do either (not that it means anything to you, but I think they're right about this one!.) Don't be gratuitously post-modern - instead, follow your own advice before the advice becomes the poem!.

Otherwise, the rhythm and flow are nice!. You can indeed write a poem - I just want the ultra-fantasy or perhaps the imagination to manifest itself in content other than writing about writing!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I got hung up on the first two stanzas where there are the unnecessary 'is's!. I love the vocabulary though, rewrite!.!.!. I like it!. Stay Strong!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

i never made any poem before but, that's really good i thinkWww@QuestionHome@Com