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Question: This poem anygood!?
to the world a baby was born
from the mom this child was torn
now its a fight to survive and grow
love cant heal all as we all know
so many things the doctors will try
mom can only weep and ask god whyWww@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
i think it was good
if others think otherwise (don't worry) i say, '' the best poetry always gets criticized the most!.''Www@QuestionHome@Com

Try a little tighter meter with your rhymes, and a bit of punctuation will make it read differently than a long run-on sentence!.

to the world a baby was born from the mom this child was torn now its a fight to survive and grow love cant heal all as we all know so many things the doctors will try mom can only weep and ask god whyWww@QuestionHome@Com

I will have to say that the rhyming is very forced!. Free verse is my favorite!. Possably try that, no rhyme sceme involved!.
also, the second line sends chills down my spine, i suppose because of the word 'torn'!. I understand what you mean, but it sounds horrible!.
Maybe make the poem start making the mother sound blessed, then go into the fact that she becomes heartbroken because her newly born baby did not make it!.
Best of luck
Good startWww@QuestionHome@Com

fully lmao!!!! that mellisa girl really has it in for you hahahahaha!.

once agiain your poems are simple and true which are good they make me laugh and the fact that i see you as a stoner hippie makes them even funnier but i like how they are true and are meaningfull!.

keep up these poems!.

yet some how i get the feeling your trying to come across as a deliberet idiot just for laughs !.

but i still think your poems rockWww@QuestionHome@Com

To give birth - to a sick child - is very hard!. You have asked the eternal question of WHY!. For only in the mind of God - go I!. ?Www@QuestionHome@Com

It's terrible poems like this one that give rhyming poetry a bad name, obviously this poem is forcibly rhymed!. But that doesn't mean all poetry that rhymes is forced!. Trust me!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Rework the rhyme on 1 and 2!. "Torn" really takes away from the intent in my opinion!.Www@QuestionHome@Com