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Question: Is this a fitting tribute/dedication!?
to the Poets of Mars!?
Upon the planet Mars we write
wishful poetic second sight,
a place of love and liberty
where words flow with a synergy
away from Earth's chaotic plight!.
With pen and not with blades we fight,
pointing the wrongs out from the right,
here expression is truly free,
upon the planet Mars!.
In the communal dome at night
we share our words so that we might
make them pierce hearts so poignantly
that all of Earth can't help but see
the brilliant blinding poet's light
upon the planet Mars!.
Author's Note: This is a repost, as they deleted me for solicitation!. How wonderful!. Title suggestions are welcome!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
A very fitting dedication!. Mars is the brightest thing in the Earth's sky when the poets are reciting their verse!. Love it!Www@QuestionHome@Com
I love the metaphorical logic of pen > blade > pierce (hearts); it compensates, successfully if belatedly, for the na?veté of line 6!. `Light' as a less natural consequence of the logic of the poem as presented!. The refrain is modulated with admirable suppleness!.
To me the three beat feet (or in some cases, the possible readings thereof) in lines 2, 7, 8, 10, 12 are not obvious improvements, and perhaps `brilliant blinding' is oddly too intense, from the mere `can't help but see,' if even slightly wordy!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
oh Yes it is quite obvious that you are soliciting a trip to Mars!.!.!.you naughty fiend!.!.That's right I called you a fiend!.!.!.!.Ode to Mars!.!.!.I think that's highly original!.!.Hmmm at first i thought i was being sarcastic but maybe it is so unoriginal that it becomes original!.!.maybe!?!.!.Perhaps!?Www@QuestionHome@Com
Refreshing to see a poem written in classic form!. A friend calls me a "reactionary" when it comes to poetry, I assume!. My reaction to this one is very positive!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
The Martian Poetic Lisense!? My only request is that add an 'of' between planet and Mars!. I think it would go well with the flow!. Enjoyed it, and yes, quite fitting!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
If indeed you are soliciting, I'll take two to go!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
This should never have been deleted!. It is one of the most beautiful, soulful poems I've read!.
T!.Www@QuestionHome@Com