Do you have time for five lines?

Question: Do you have time for five lines!?

"Cost" - oddquain

Blood
on your lips,
red rifts in your heart!.
A terrible price paid for
love!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

Hey Evadne,

Nice crisp image!. I like the way this reads!. One minor suggestion:

Unless this is a form that requires a certain syllable count per line, you may want to drop "for" down to the last line!. Breaking on for takes away some of the drama from the final line!. I think doing the break on paid may have more punch!.

Whatever you choose to do, these are some nice lines!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I am becoming a very big fan of your shorter works!.!.!. not that i do not like the longer ones but this is where you shine!.!.!. one of the places you shine!.!.!. when a poet is able to place such depth in such a small space!.!.!.!.!.!.!. you and Amy are the goddess' of this power!.!.!. I need long series'!.!.!. but we all shine in our own light!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I like your oddquain !.!. it is a challenge to keep to a specific syllable count!. This poem is powerful, and your juxtoposition of blood love-- the cost is high indeed!.
T!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

a terrible price paid for love really sticks!. It is a strong use of words!. Good job!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

"Hi!",
Wow, That was so creatively done for such a little poem!.
"Small, bitter sweet and BRILLIANT!"

WELL DONE!
Cheers : )Www@QuestionHome@Com

Wow!. It seems to pack a lot of meaning in 5 lines!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I always have time for five lines from you!.!.!.and these are some powerful five lines!Www@QuestionHome@Com

nhhhhhhhhhh a terrible price is it !? Depends on point of view I suppose!.!.!.Probably in the long run it would be terribleWww@QuestionHome@Com

I loved this poem!.!.!. the title didn't do it any justice!!

Very lethal!.!.
TemariWww@QuestionHome@Com

Damn, that was amazing!. I like it a lot! It is so much more than 15 words!.

Good Job!Www@QuestionHome@Com

Ferds wail me!. And thus, just one more WOW!!Www@QuestionHome@Com