Position:Home>Poetry> I based this poem around a haiku I wrote one morning--whatcha all think?
Question: I based this poem around a haiku I wrote one morning--whatcha all think!?
Pause
There’s a pause in life sometimes
That last clinging moment of fall before the release
Suspended in infinity
Pure and complete
A quiet man sits
Under a gentle grey sky,
Peacefully watches
A hint of summer, an echo
Can be felt in the sharp air
But it is acute
Quiet
Hidden
It is the leaf
Soon to descend
Soon to whither
Soon to freeze
These are the moments we remember;
We go back to them
When there is no direction
And peace is a dream,
We exist in them
Again
Holding on
Returning to that impossible moment
That perfect slice
When in the unstoppable chaos
There was respite
And life–our self–was free!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
This is a compelling and provocative poem about that pause to reflect we must all take sometimes!. You have described both the tranquil and embracing nature of these pauses and the need for them so well, all encapsulated in the last five lines!. Just beautiful!. Thank you!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Shows promise!. The first line needs replacing!.
also, the line "Soon to whither" doesn't make any sense to me; if it's a pun then you need to supply more context!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
That pause in life is well thought out in your poem!. It is introspective!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
This is nothing but pure wisdom in the form of prose!. I found comfort in these words!. Thank you!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
OMG!! So good! U should enter this poem into a contest! Way to go!
also, can anyone answer my posted question!?!.!.!.!."I met a guy at a party, and I'm never going to see him again!!?"Www@QuestionHome@Com
Its greatWww@QuestionHome@Com
Well done!. A strong thought sequence that everyone has gone through!. My compliments!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
meaning is not clearWww@QuestionHome@Com
oh i like this one!.
its really good!.
=]Www@QuestionHome@Com
Tis is toooooooooo lovely, touchs my heart deeply!.
Thank you, for the reminder!Www@QuestionHome@Com