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Question: How is this "Advice to a Drug Addict" poem!? Note: Allah means God in Arabic!?
You Need Allah Not Crack
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by Maria

Allah gave you a brain; why don`t you use it!?

Allah gave you a brain; please, won`t you use it!?

Allah gave you a brain, not so you could burn it!.

What you need is Allah, not crack or maryjane!.

It's a shame what the Devil makes you claim!.

He persuades you to use crack; maybe what you need is this lyrical smack!.

Fear Allah and STOP before you start shooting drugs in your veins!.

Fear Allah and STOP before you kill someone you love!.

Allah is the one above, watching you, when you hurt the ones He loves!.

Your family belongs to Allah, not you!.

If you kalima is true, then go and get help before it to late my dude!.

*Kalima-The statement a individual makes to testify his Islamic belief!.

*My Dude- slang for my friend!.

I just wanted to share & I`m up for the critique!.Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Interesting, again almost more for a lyrical version, especially with the repetition!. If you want as an exercise try to condense the thoughts!. You could start with something like:

Allah gave you a brain to use, not abuse
a brain to say no to maryjane or crack or cocaine
Allah gave you your brain!.!.!.why not use!?

A shame what the Devil makes you claim
as reasons to abuse and rely on crack
maybe you need this lyrical smack

Fear Allah!.!.!.fear Allah and stop this now
say no to drug in veins, to candied nose
stop before you kill someone you love


Your words have passion, work on meter and delivery!. You taught me a new word: "Kalima", thanks!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

"Hi!",
This is an awesome poem!. You did really well with this!.
I am right here with you on this topic!. You expressed your feelings and Covered the topic brilliantly!.
you have actually made parts of this poem flow, It does need editing slightly to make it all flow correctly!. Hopefully someone with expertise in poetry comes along and show you or explain a lot better than I too assist editing it for you!.

WELL DONE!
Cheers : )Www@QuestionHome@Com

You got your point across!.!.!. well!.!.!.!.!.!. Now someone needs to show you how to put it all together so it flows properly !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.
Nice job !.!.!.!.!.Like a Drug Addict!.!.!.!.Your poem needs a little help!.!.!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com