A poem would like comments please?

Question: A poem would like comments please!?

Did you write that song for me!?
for I cried a river bigger than
san fransisco bay,
while I watch you drink
your life away!.

I get a few hours
of your time
before your loaded once again
but I am not the pistol
to bring your life at end!.

I see the change
that takes your blue eye's
and that's the reason why
I cry, cause i have to see the man I love
die!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

It's really good!. I think you have expressed your feelings very clearly(which is something I like very much) in a nice way!.
keep on writing!Www@QuestionHome@Com

its really good!.
the ending could be more theatrical and deep instead of saying 'cause i have to see the man I love die!.'
good poem though!.
xxWww@QuestionHome@Com

BLIMEY ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT MY FELLA JIM !. THATS EXACTLY HOW I FEEL UNLESS YOU LOVE AN ALCOHOLIC AS I DO YOU WOULD NEVER UNDERSTAND YES ITS GOODWww@QuestionHome@Com

I like it!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Well written from the heart , hope all works out ,Www@QuestionHome@Com