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6!.9 ON THE RICHTER SCALE
The ground is not supposed to ripple like that,
as if someone had lifted up an edge of Guam
and shook it, like a carpet!.
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Position:Home>Poetry> How much vocabulary and phrasing are required to tell a story?Question: How much vocabulary and phrasing are required to tell a story!? *****
6!.9 ON THE RICHTER SCALE The ground is not supposed to ripple like that, as if someone had lifted up an edge of Guam and shook it, like a carpet!. *****Www@QuestionHome@Com Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Thanks for this TD!. I have learnt a lot todayWww@QuestionHome@Com Hi Galactia! There's one word missing from this perfect morsel!.!.!. It's!. The ground isn't supposed to ripple like that! (Exclamation point to show excitement) It's as if someone had lifted up an edge of Guam and shook it (ditch the comma) like a carpet!. " n't " shortens "is not"!. Make the statement exciting and never get into the habit of cutting off the facts with a comma!. Let the entire sequence flow!.!.!. The only time you use a comma is when you're using a preposition: 'but' or instead of using 'and' also when you're string a bunch of facts together!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Beautiful, descriptive!.!.!.!.!.!.great!.!.!.story! Actually, in a Journalism class I took, they said that barely anything in newspapers is above the 8th grade reading level!. Another sad, but true, bit of trivia!.!.!.!.!.!. (I seriously wonder if they've dummied the papers down even more since)!?!?!?Www@QuestionHome@Com Did you write this!? (Whatever) !.!.!.!.I love stuff like this!.!.!.I am going to tell a story now!. She looked at her reflection in the lake, her face appearing and disappearing in the eddying circles created by her falling tears, and decided to-day would be a good day to die!. (Goodness, I don't know where that came from!.!.!.not very cheerful at all) Edit - Buzbe, dear, don't try to tell your grandma how to suck eggs!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Good vocabulary and phrasing, prose, the story told in one sentence! The Northridge earthquake in 1994 was just like that!. We could see the dirt rising from the hills around us like a shook carpet!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Wow you don`t beat around the bush do ya! If anyone ever needed a eyewitness you`d be the perfect one!. Thanks, for now I know what a earthquake is like!. Wow that`s friggen or frikken or freaking !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. SCARY!Www@QuestionHome@Com "Hi!", Insomnia has kicked in and these are the symptoms!. But on the richter scale I give it a 10!.10 short, sweet and precise!. WELL DONE! Cheers : )Www@QuestionHome@Com I'm quickly learning that in most cases less is more!. Perfect story telling!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Perfect! The poetic scales are balanced here!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Is this yours!? If it is, you're probably the best writer I've run into on here so far!. This is definitely publishable!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Much picture few words! Cheers!!Www@QuestionHome@Com seems like that's about as good as it gets!.Www@QuestionHome@Com |