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Position:Home>Poetry> Insomniac-Thoughts on piece?Question: Insomniac-Thoughts on piece!? Insomniac
Insomnia feeling Slumber is screeching Anemic waves beating Words stop the progress Left in suspension The body sprawls restless Thoughts beg for retention The drawbridge is broken Epileptic fingers Feed into the frenzy Hypnotized into wakening The zombie interlude Pained colored orbs Darting under flax sheets Arousing the senses Before they can slip- Melt into the stillness Relenting to brainwash The ending the same The tranquil omittedWww@QuestionHome@Com Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: As you scratch the surface the thoughts are exposed!.!.!.Nice!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com You really describe a livid picture of the tortures of insomnia!. It is dark and full of restlessness!. I had insomnia for a while and your poem, I can relate to!. I like your style!. By the way, the reason I explained my poem is the fact I get tired of e-mails coming in that want an explanation and the remarks from close minded individuals that have no conception of how far the mind can go!. But I thank you for your critique!.Www@QuestionHome@Com There was so much in this poem I could relate too LOL The body sprawls restless, I am a thrasher at night! Pained colored orbs Darting under flax sheets Arousing the senses Yuppers see this kind of stuff too! I loved it , does describe me to a T on a restless night !! Cheers!! Nicely written by the way!!Www@QuestionHome@Com um i think you play too many video games or something!. i find if all you read about is goblins and stuff those will be your background you draw on in order to depict something in a poemWww@QuestionHome@Com to much doom for me, but it is good!. you could lighten up a little,all i see (when reading this) is dark , is that whet it should do!? impression of on coming doom!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Yup that`s an insominac for ya! I should know! Thanks for the comment on my poem!. You`re great!Www@QuestionHome@Com A night like this calls for Ambien! Excellent description of no sleep!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Abstract and nice! i like its interesting just a bit heavy!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com |