Position:Home>Poetry> How is this for action?
Question: How is this for action!?
Gun Shy Kisses-(+)-
# 11
My eyes were sore,
breath shallow
I dropped my gun
She held hers on me
“I never let personalities
get in the way of what I do”
My words didn’t move her
Her finger
tightened on her trigger
I dropped my head
“I know her kind
You’re like me…”
my leg swung
and threw her gun
“… just not as limber!”
-I had to find some way to break their stalemate and I am sorry to say, Charlotte is not the type to relent… I mean, why would she care about this other woman!?
Blessed Be in Kick @$$ Women, SirenWww@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
You surprised me! I wasn't expecting that bit of action at the end but I love it!. Excellent ploy to both resolve the stalemate and yet keep the intrigue!. I will read on, filled with anticipation!. Thank you!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
The two women have been compared before - I think in #6 - the phrase "just like me" was used too!. Is this phrase just being overstressed - or does it have something important to add to the story!? (Upon observing my surroundings - it seems the "eyes" have it) ?Www@QuestionHome@Com
unusual differentWww@QuestionHome@Com
Siren,
We are one step closer!.!.!.to the lines:
My eyes were sore,
breath shallow
I dropped my gun
She held hers on me
“I never let personalities
get in the way of what I do”
My words didn’t move her
I could see her finger
tighten on her trigger
I dropped my head
“I know her kind!."
So like me!.!.!.
my leg swung
kicking her gun away
… just not as limber!”
I like the indent at the end encapsulating the action!.
Waiting patiently to see how this turns out!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Lara Croft in action there!.!.!.!.or is it Charlie's Agels move!?
Good way to break the deadlock!.
Both now gunless- ooohhh catfight coming up! Does someone come along to break it up - someone who has been trailing Charlotte to make sure she goes through with the task!? Or just a 4th story resident with a bucket of laundry water well timed!? lol
in this exchange I did get a lil confused over who was saying what!. Maybe I wasn't concentrating!. please write on sister!Www@QuestionHome@Com