Question Home

Position:Home>Poetry> How 'bout my poem?


Question: How 'bout my poem!?
What do you think of this poem!? I think you'll murder it!. People tell me my stuff is weird, and makes no sense!. also that it lacks structure!. Oh well!.

I awoke
I was in a small room
It's walls were green
I was in a bed

It was hot
A small fan was humming
All for nothing
I could feel the heat

She was gone
She wasn't beside me
I guess I lost
Now I was looking

I saw it
It seemed to be a snake
I heard it talk
I almost swear it

It was there
On the floor!.!.!.!.sweating too
It had no life
It just looked at me

Then I saw
This small room had no door
But I was calm
I just turned around

I went to the bed
I layed down
The snake began to sleep
And so did IWww@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Well, it is certainly different than what else I have read!. I wouldn't say weird, because there are many meanings for it!. I do like the poem though!. The PoV should be a bit more !. !. !. don't mind me if you want !. !. !. forward with what you are trying to say!. Unless you are making one of those complex poems where you have to work out all the possibitilies of what everything and anything can mean!. Again, I liked it, it was different!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

your right!. it lacked structure!. it was weird!. and it was really good!. i liked it a lot!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Interesting!. I once write along these lines, but met someone else and the depression of the loss of "them" vanished!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Structure is boring!. Have you tried writing this in the present tense!.!.!.!.may be interesting to see is all, love the weirdness ;)Www@QuestionHome@Com

it was weird but still goodWww@QuestionHome@Com