Is this story thing good?

Question: Is this story thing good!?

It's like a story/poem!. Not quite sure what it is!. I wrote this a while ago after health class where they made us feel like hamsters!.!.!.!.!. so I tried to turn that situation into a more sophisticated rodent birth =]
Just tell me if you like it!. If not advice would be great!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

Think of your target audience!.

It is well written!.

What message do you want to get accross and to whom!.

Maybe there is no message, maybe it is just a story like a bios [biography with a story tinge!.]

Keep writing!.

You have great talent!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

i like it!.!.!.its beautifull!.!.!.you are very talentedWww@QuestionHome@Com

wow that is amezing
i ?ed [loved] it ,it gets 2 pplz [peoples] hearts
yuh should keep writtingWww@QuestionHome@Com

On the right track!. You should read James Tate's prose poetry!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

goodWww@QuestionHome@Com

omg that is beautiful!!!!!!!! you are so very talented!.!.!.!.!.i wish i was u we just had a poety unit and i failed!.!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

WOW!!! That is soooo good and detailed!!! I loved it!!!!!!
You got talent!! That was sooo good!!!Www@QuestionHome@Com