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Question: This my first attempt at poems!.!.!. Please tell me what you think!.!.!.!?
SLEEPLESS NIGHT
Sleepless night,
Oh! Such a pain!.
Everyone wished me a good night,
I dont think they are sane!.
What can be so good,
about a silent, dark night
When everyone's in bed,
and only I lay awake so quiet!.
Oh, I wish i could sleep,
but, full is mind
of thoughts that i fear,
would lead to sleepless night!.
But, now its almost twilight,
and I still lay awake,
passed, has the night,
and i cry in its wake!.!.!.
I am 15 years old, and this is my first attempt!. Please, help me with the punctuation, and tell me what yout hink and if its needs any modifications!.
ThanksWww@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
It's a good first try for someone of your age!. What I'd suggest is this: extend your lines so they have more beats!.!.!.when you write them with only two feet (a "foot" is a combination of beats that repeat!.!.!.your first two lines have two feet, the third line has four, the fourth has three) they come off too short and look as if you'd split the line just to get two lines where there should have been just one, and they put the rhymes too close together!. For examle, the first stanza's first two lines should really be one line, which would give you a stanza with three lines!. The point I'm trying to make is that when you choose to write in rhyme, especially if you have a particular pattern in mind, you must be careful about how it's constructed!. My suggestion for poets, especially new ones, is that you read, read, and read more poetry!.!.!.buy a book on poetry not so you can do finger exercises, but so you'll understand some of the nuances that make poetry different than prose!. You need to train your ears so you'll know how to recreate moods, evoke emotion, etc!. with how you've placed your words!.!.!.poetry is a very deliberate art when done correctly!. Some say you should just let it flow ala Ginsberg!.!.!.but the reality of the situation is that just because he made it "look" easy, doesn't mean that it "was" easy!. Take your time, if you choose to rhyme, keep the rhyming words as far apart as possible and look for more subtle ways to rhyme other than perfect, end-stopped rhymes!.
!.!.!.but now that you've started!.!.!.keep writingWww@QuestionHome@Com
That's not bad for a first attempt!. You've got some talent and with lots of practice you could become a great poet!.
In regards to that poem it's flow doesn't quite work, some of the words don't fit right and I don't know there's just something not right about it!. It's alright though, overall!.
Keep writing!Www@QuestionHome@Com