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Question: Is this a better revision!?
Starless Day
By Cynthia S!.

Young woman at the corner!.
Ringless hands
protect belly swollen
with unkept promises!.
Searching for Bethlehem!.Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
This is the first I've seen, but I like it!. It shows the fear and hope am unwed pregnant woman feels!. It is very short, but concise, which adds alot of power to it!.

One change that I thought you needed to make, but now feel is fine is the line "Ringless hands!." I thought well you only have a wedding band on one hand, but then it occurred to me that this could also mean the woman was poor (she could afford no rings)!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Excellent poem!. So good I keep rereading it and find more beauty with each reading!.
T!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I think it is clearer now, but I didn't mind the mystery of the first posting!. I like mystery in poems!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I liked them both!.Www@QuestionHome@Com