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Question: - poem -- please critique -- what you see needs changing, etc!.!?
Heart Burn

The curdling and piercing flame within
Flickering in shades of scarlet and orange
Gnaws at the edges of a beating organ
Contorting every pulse and taunting it into shame

A pair of eyes fuels and electrifies the fire within
Causing a rush of light headed energy to surge through the bodice
Labour no longer has meaning and pain almost non existent
Eternal happiness appears to be in reach

Yet something causes the blaze to sear with rage
Scorching and singeing at the now pleading heart
Each pulse now a shiver or tremble
Self control seems to have gone by this stage

With a painted smile, and a forced air of enthusiasm
She wills the days to go by
But those hypnotic eyes and the owner’s unquestionable beauty
Make her question her mental state and continue to deny

A turmoil of happiness, highs and sudden defeat
Is overwhelming and hard to beat
His voice a lullaby, spoken in dulcet and silvery tones
A fine tune, weaving and trickling softly through her bones

This is a war and her weapons are useless
Alarm bells blaze in both ears
But she adopts a dazed trance
Her heart still entangled in chains, a prisoner, until she decides to confessWww@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
I think it's great! very creative!

answer mine, please!
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