What do you think of my new POEM : )?

Question: What do you think of my new POEM : )!?

Please provide honest opinions!. Cheers : )

Stolen innocence!.

Young cherub
Innocent and pure,
Crystal clear water
Flows within you!.

Voluptuous rose,
Of sovereign Venus,
Unicellular fungi,
Of genus,

Life stolen,
Spoiled by blood,
Ripen my fruits,
Create a new bud!.

Cheers : )Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

This is a lovely dance taking woman through childhood then into the loss of virginity!. I can certainly see why you chose unicellular fungi as the animal who stole the cherry, giving this the cost of rape!. This parasite takes and takes and in the end gives the beginning of a new bud!. Excellent analogy!.

Contemporary poetry has moved beyond the need to rhyme!. Meter is important in the flow of the words, but the parameters have changed!. A free verse poem is defined as "poetry without regular meter, rhyme, or stanzaic form!."
T!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Young Cherub
innocent, pure
crystal water
flows within

I like the idea but your second stanza does not to me work!. Unless memory is askew, fungi are single cell organisms!. Unicellular means single cell!.!.!.thus the two !? Could not you try something like this:

Luscious rose
Venus birthed
taken!.!.!.
despoiled

As always, these are just my thoughts so do with them as you wish!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Good use of language to describe feelings and images!. Keep working on your muse!. You can make this a lot better with a little editing and work, and I do enjoy the word pictures you paint!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Congrats on your TC badge Gal! Interesting poem!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Rhyming is needed!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

OKAY I GUESS BUT BLOOD FRUITS WATER ARE NOT CONNECTED BUT MAKE IT RHYMEWww@QuestionHome@Com

its good but kinda boring, i'd make it rhymeWww@QuestionHome@Com