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Question: What think you all of my newest effort at poetry!?
Bionic Ebonics
By Semper Fi Reborn

I'm so fly that I drip style!.
My diddy bop is lethal,
Like my profile, move slow child!.
Cause it's easy to get a dirt nap!.
When speaking greasy greasy,
Heat does clap!.
These fools are in the industry of pap pap,
Like in the blink of an eye, like snap snap!.

Some will read and understand,
Some won't have a clue!.
That I dropped bionic style ebonics
Right on top of you!.Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Oh my goodness: this reminds me of the fragmentary Greek poet Hipponax, and a line Catullus borrowed from him called the choliambic; I have wondered if this can be done in English-- putting spondees at the end of short lines!. It has the same wonderful spoken feel I would not have thought possible!. I shall have to try this at some point: actually I did once, but I could never coerce enough words into spondees as you have!. Lovely work!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Hmmm!.!.!. I have read and I think I know what you are saying!. Mind if I try!? Here we go:

1, 2, 1, 2, but ah pardon my hood/Steppin through with a rep that's mos def no good

Seein Semper spit/it's sumthin I can get/so here's another hit/my eb-bon-nic

Style for the cats that whip the hot whips/trick the fly chicks/and stick dudes for bricks

Those on the corners with nicks/holdin a 4 fifth/all in an attempt to push a new 6

Thanks for the intro but like an antonym I'm out/next time you're in the hood give your boy a shoutWww@QuestionHome@Com

Ah, ebonics, I miss them very very much!. I love the easy rhymes that you have which create the very vernacular rhythm, which I infer from your title is what you were trying to create!. Of course, I could be completely wrong about this!.

However, I do appreciate the poem, that the things we least expect are often right in front of us!. Thanks for the reminder!. I now watch the sky for the anvil sure to drop on me!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I didn't like it because I didn't understand it!.
It's very messy, very cluttered!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Being a white boy from Chitown
you zinged right over me
No problem though, zinged before
Keep it up though and I'll be coming
bringing my Norski Ole and Lena!

lolWww@QuestionHome@Com

Kidlet, go fetch mah shootin iron!. If he's acomin after me, Ahma gonna be ready!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Had lots of arguments about Ebonics when I was teaching high school!. Fun to see it again!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I would echo TD's brilliant sentiment!. Bionic Ebonics, who'da thunk it!?Www@QuestionHome@Com

Someday, when I am cool, I plan to write like this!.!.!.hehehe!.!.!. Brilliant!Www@QuestionHome@Com

A smooth read, but I think I only got a part of the jest of the
message!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Cool!.!.!.I like it!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

For a boy from the hood you sure got good words!.!.!.!.
OORAH!Www@QuestionHome@Com

Well, I admit that I don't know if I understand it all, but it is fun to read!. :)Www@QuestionHome@Com