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Question: Wading on in!.!.!.!.compress more!? ive had to leave last two lines off!!?
i looked for you inside my heart as loneliness engulfed me
i said ok Lord you can start and expected you to heal me
i didnt see a lightning bolt or hear a roar of thunder
i figured you just didnt hear and let myself slip under
i looked for you inside the book,
read your verse with rapture
i said ok lord i beleave
please free me from my captor
i didnt feel your mighty force release me from my torment
i resigned myself and let my hopeful heart lie dormant
i looked for you inside the church
the day i woke up crying
i said ok lord here i am
save me from eternal dying
i didnt see a burst of light nor hear a wondrous singing
i assumed that i deserve the hell that i am feeling
i looked for you so many times
each time despair engulfed me
never even saw you standing right beside me
when i saw how close you stood i said lord be my savior
i wish to walk beside you,live in peace foreverWww@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
I feel you can leave off the final two you added without any damage!. Live in Peace forever kind of says it all!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Some of it rhymes and some of it doesn't!. It throws off the flow--I also think that too many "I" statements detract from the poem and make it less accessible to other people emotionallyWww@QuestionHome@Com

Great work - this is beautiful!. Your flow is transfixing!. You have a beautiful message to convey and you did it admirably ?Www@QuestionHome@Com

Wow !. Im speachless!.




(Vote me as best answer)Www@QuestionHome@Com