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Question: Is this a scaffold poem!?
This pome is scaffolded from a real poem, "Capricorn," by poet/publisher TD Euwaite!. The link gives guidelines!.
http://answers!.yahoo!.com/question/index;!.!.!.Poets Unbound
by Elaine P
White sails stand ready
for the trip to Mars!.
The Chosen enter,
find their berths aboard!.
The stars fall below
their soaring ship!.
Poems bright as stardust
Fall upon my head--
Virtual Minions' songs,
waiting for the nod!.
I embrace the words,
lead them to our Captain!.
Busy at the wheel,
he hands them to me!.
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It looks good Elaine (though TD is so prolific I couldn't find Capricorn)!. The real question though is, "Did you enjoy doing it!?"
I love the title and how it plays off the first line!. I'm going to have to go with solar-sails!.
Edit: I just read Capricorn!. Thank you for the link!. It fits well!. Very nicely done!.
Neonman: I can see how that might be a problem!. Mine actually came out as a series of odd-connections!. Upon revision it wouldn't fit the original anymore!. I think the trick is to write the poem as if you had no future poem in mind!. If I had more room on YA I would have included the original (The Red Poppy by Louise Gluck), my composite, and the final draft!.!.!.we are sadly a bit limited here!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
as both a sailor, (4 years AC) a traveller all my life and an adventurer i give you 4 1/2 stars for this work,
i like imagery, and you capture that very well, controlling the picture but allowing the mind to fill in the other areas!.
the use of sails (ludicrous to the engineer, but i have read about solar sails before for flight around planets),
finding your bunk, the first order of business on board any ship or in any military operation unless you are under fire (been there too, iraq 03)
i like this work quite a bit, it captures well the life i think they would experience and enjoy
if i can find 1/2 a star, i will post it to your creditWww@QuestionHome@Com
Editted - Mate, it stands up all by itself absolutely! Love it! AND it fits like a glove with the original!. Well done me hearties! Ahoy me buccoes!
Ooh arrrgh cap'n- tis great to hear Able Seaperson/Astropoet Cynthia's singing so early in the day!
Lyricalous Stupendous Cynthia, beats the "sheets" outta me!megaLOL *winks at CynthiaWww@QuestionHome@Com
My space suit's packed, I'm ready to go
I just thought I'd let you know,
already so excited I could cry!
I'm leavin on a space ship,
don't think I'll ever get off this trip!
(to the tune of "Leaving on a Jet Plane")Www@QuestionHome@Com
I tried this yesterday and I ended up with a restated poem of the original!. You have adhered to Todd's rules with this!. Nicely done!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
This is great, I hear your message! "Poems bright as stardust/Fall upon my head"!.!.!.such great imagery there, it brings a smile to my face!Www@QuestionHome@Com
Todd is one of my favorite poets!. He is good at finding sophisticated things!. This form is interesting, akin to Oulipo!. You dood it very well!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com