Comments, please?????

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Question:

The Letter

The day the letter came,
The day my life ended,
The day my world seemed to come to a close, an end!.

My father, my best friend, a soldier as brave as any,
A Cornell, a father, a friend,
The day the letter came, my world ended

My mind imagined his last moments-
Did he suffer!?
Did he cry!?
Did he beg!?
Did he think of me, did he think of his daughter, his family!?

My father, my best friend, a soldier as brave as any,
A hostage- left to the mercy of others,
Left to the mercy of those who gave none

The day the letter came,
The day my life ended,
That day my world seemed to come to close, an end!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

Wow! I do hope this is just a poem you came up with and not a personal story!. It hits very strongly, however, if your life ended, you'd be dead also!. Wouldn't it be my "world" ended!? or 'my life as I knew it" ended!? Then the next line says that your world only 'seemed' to come to a close!. Which is it!?

also, you put his rank first in order of importance!. Wouldn't he be a Father first!?
A Father, a friend, a Colonel!. (check your spelling -- unless you meant he was a graduate of Cornell University)

A little tweaking and you've got a good poem!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I thought it was really great!. You chose your words carefully and it worked!. I just love poems that portray sadness with deep emotion!. I loved it!Www@QuestionHome@Com

Its really sad poem :( but i like the meaning of it!.!.its a deep emotion!.Www@QuestionHome@Com