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Position:Home>Poetry> How does this short story and a poem sound?Question: How does this short story and a poem sound!? On writers cafe!.org I recently joined and publiched 2 writings!.!. I even got them advertised lol
any way I wanted to see what you guys thought of them This is the short story *warning it is depressing* http://www!.writerscafe!.org/writing/Chrit!.!.!. and this is the poem http://www!.writerscafe!.org/writing/Chrit!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: I really liked the story, it held my interest from beginning to end and the ending surprised me a little but I thought it was a good story!. As far as the poem goes, I think it could use a little work!. It doesn't flow as well as it should!. I don't mean to be critical but I am a published poet and won several awards for my poems!. Your grammar needs work and you used too many "buts" and "ands"!. I think you could fix it without too much effort and it would be a really good poem!. Like I said, I'm not trying to be critical, just helpful and I'm not bragging about my poems, it's just that I have been to seminars and spoken to published poets who got lots of money for their poems and I learned a lot from them!. A poet has to make the reader "see" and "feel" what the poet "sees and feels" and right now, it's just not there for me!. It won't take much to improve it but removing some "buts and ands" and correcting the grammar will help so much!. I did like your story!.Www@QuestionHome@Com oh man i love your story is there more of it or like it like revenge and the poem i liked it allot but your story it made me feel like i was the dude for some reason dude you rock!.!.!.!.!. if you make any more stories or poems plz plz send me an email plz at solbarrera@sbcglobal!.net and again you rock man good stuff!.Www@QuestionHome@Com wow that is wonderful the best i have ever read its even better than my award winner one d get and award for it its truly sad but has a great feeling i luv it i give it a 100% A+ I'm not joking kidding or anything like that it has lots of heartWww@QuestionHome@Com both the poem and the story where amazing!. the story brought tears to my eyes!. i can feel all the sorrow!. gosh i love it!.Www@QuestionHome@Com those were really good! (even though i know im just repeating everyone here) do u have to be a certain age to join 'writerscafe'!. do ppl tend to steal ur work!? and lastly does ur work become property of teh site!?!?!? thanks! :)Www@QuestionHome@Com the short story is sad but the poem is sweet !.!.!. good job !.!.!. i like them both !.!.!. :)Www@QuestionHome@Com hmmmmm im mildly freaked outWww@QuestionHome@Com I just may!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. When I get to a computer that will allow me!.!.!. BTW, did you read the whole series or just the one!?Www@QuestionHome@Com |