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Question: How much more can we take!?
Trial of Sight
Part Seven
She slips back into a dream…
~A step and a skip through the wood
back to where she calls home
Mother waits with supper ready
Dad waits beneath the Earth and Stone
With her house in sight
something calls from the shade
Red eyes and fanged smile
dead stare and hungry lips
Monsters in the shadow of twilight
she will not be to super on time~
-Again, the “~” is to show that it is a dream… just wanted to make that clear!. What do you think of this one!? I found it the most fun of them all so far…
Blessed Be in getting to supper on time, and Love and Light, SirenWww@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
This is very imaginative, like a fairy tale within the larger story!. The dream is a frightening one, and "monsters in the shadow of twilight" have plagued the dark dreams of most people!. Now I am left wondering what this all means!. I will be waiting to find out!. Wonderful story, Siren!. Thank you!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
I am beginning to think that this is Little Red Riding Hood!.
I interpreted the line "Dad waits beneath the Earth and Stone" to mean that he's dead and buried!. This information appears unexpected and heightens the tension of what follows!. Not only is she about to be pounced on by The Big Bad Wolf, but the safety of home seems so near, yet unattainable!.
Is she going to have superb soup for supper with the super in his Subaru of the suburbs!?Www@QuestionHome@Com
I need to catch up with the other chapters, I like how it sounds--The red eyes reminded me of "the nothing" from Neverending story--
I will go catch up now since it seems no one I know or have heard of besides you is aroundWww@QuestionHome@Com
It's nice!. A couple minor suggestions:
L2: Should it be "woods"
L8-9: Maybe eliminate the "and's" replacing them with commas!.
Very strong ending line!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
This all feels very Tarantino - Kill Bill Vol 3-12 perhaps
Dark and grippingWww@QuestionHome@Com