Position:Home>Poetry> My poem about an old bf...... your comments?
Question: My poem about an old bf!.!.!.!.!.!. your comments!?
we had a really bad ending!.!. anyways, read this and comment!? thanks!
-A Change in Me-
There’s been a shift
A change of me
You were swift
And I didn’t see
But now I write
From a new point of view
It’s still not alright
What you put me through
But I’ve grown a bit
I’m sure you have as well
And I have to admit
We both sorta fell
I’m different now
And have really moved on
Though I don’t know how
We both had withdrawn
I can now look back
And still get a smile
Forget the attack
And remember the worthwhile
Remember swinging
Together outside
Remember singing
And remember, we tried
Our story ended
We weren’t meant together
Our break, far from “splendid”
We had some bad weather
I know I’ve learned a lot
About myself, my life, the world
I think we forgot
And we sorta got twirled
Either way, I know
This wasn’t a waste
I really did grow
And now have been placed
Thank you for the days
We spent happily back then
Thank you for that phase
And thank you againWww@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
You have a very good sense of rhyme!. Judging by the content of the poem, I find it hard to believe you're only 14, because most adults couldn't put something this good together!. Not that a poem has to rhyme, but you certainly have mastered that aspect of poetry!. Congratulations!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
You have a complete poem without the additional comment ending!. The line "And thank you again" can be the end!. For 14 - you are doing an exceptional job!. You explain the emotions and feelings quite well and your meter is sound!. Keep up the good work ?Www@QuestionHome@Com
i like it!. the same thing happened with me!. i broke up!. but i learnt something from him!. he was a significant phase of my life but as you both did we moved on!.
thank!.!.!.!.!.this poem has inspired me to thank my ex-bf!.
same pinch!.!.!.!.!.i am to 14!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.but i never datedWww@QuestionHome@Com
I think it needs a little more rhythm!. Try to make the lines similar in length, and don't say words like "sorta"!. Overall, it's not bad!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
You illustrate nicely the differences between boys and girls, men and women!. You are right, nothing is wasted!. A very interesting poem!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
why do woman write us poetry when we break up!? honestly within a few days of breaking up with a girl we're already with another!. you poetry will only interfere with our new relationship/booty call!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
it was long!.it was OK!. but not all that!. lackluster!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
About the 4 lines were good!. Didn't catch my attention too much!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
it's a really nice poem!.!. but some lines don't really flow!.!.!. i don't know!.!. lol!.!. umm!.!. why don't you read it aloud to yourself and listen closely to the rhythm!.!. then you can decide for yourself if it sounds good to you!.!.
it's just my opinion by the way!.!. i like it :) and i can sort of relate a bit to it!.!. so keep up the good work!Www@QuestionHome@Com