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Position:Home>Poetry> Wrote a new poem....let me know how good it is?Question: Wrote a new poem!.!.!.!.let me know how good it is!? lucid dreaming
brings me life with meaning as i lose my grip reality begins to slip awakening to the slap of a hand exiting my dreary little dreamland wondering what to do does she goes through it too obscene gestures the thought still festers dragging through the day until i find another way what do you think!.!.!.honestly!?!!Www@QuestionHome@Com Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Its good!. I like poems that make you think!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Thatman 2, UMMM, why did she slap you in the face or is that any of our business!? Ok, let's help you with your poem, then! For a short verse sonnet, it is drawn out too far in some places! Get to the point quicker because it seems that you want it to end faster than you can write it! Practice visualizing more with two words than you can write with ten! Observe!.!.!. IN BED Lucid dream Felt like steam Starts to break I'm wide awake My body slow To gain control I start to stand No more dreamland The first to do's Slip on houseshoes I call to her Moans an answer Shower and brush Apply and rush A kiss goodbye Til evening's nigh I work for means She cooks and cleans After five I'm beat Til our eyes meet Have dinner and wine Then relax and recline Some TV 'til ten Up the stairs again A kiss goodnight Out goes the light We put pillow to head Sound asleep in bed And dream away Until 6 the next day Poems like this need to end back to the beginning to make them more entertaining no matter how boring the subject is!. It will still make the reader look for the ending!.!.!. you were going out the other side of the door before you could go in!.!.!.!. Grade C -Www@QuestionHome@Com the thing i admire in your poem is the feeling u want 2 convey!. u r quite clear with that!. i would like 2 suggest u never 2 ask for others openion because poems are born from heart and anything from heart is sacred and sacred things should not be judged!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Awesome! Love that it makes me think, and I can picture a scene in my mind!. You're very talented!!! And beautifully written!.Www@QuestionHome@Com wow!.!. this is really really artistically worded!. i really liked it alot!.Www@QuestionHome@Com I think you should add more, because it sounds good so far!. :)Www@QuestionHome@Com It's great!Www@QuestionHome@Com LOVE IT!Www@QuestionHome@Com i think its really good!. like deep!. good job :] :]Www@QuestionHome@Com very good indeed! !.!.!. do u have more!?Www@QuestionHome@Com |