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Question: A foolish poem--Thoughts!?
Fool
Sitting on my stool
Feet twisted inward
Happiness fleeted
Like a startled sparrow
My lips pressed tightly
Eyebrows shift
Knuckles burrow innately
Into my painted cheek
Same old loser
My own successor
Just a different costume
On a familiar stage
A crisp pointed hat
Exclaiming loudly
The failure I am
Yet it’s no surprise
No shocking burst
Or accelerated beat
It’s a common occurrence
A work place hazard
Too busy shuffling
In oversized shoes
I can never fill
Eventually I trip up
On my exposed flaws
My shaking head
Won’t free me of defect
Copyright 2008Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Beautifully worded and meaning clearly stated!. Excellent!Www@QuestionHome@Com
All I can manage to say is!.!.!.WOW! This struck a deep note in my soul!. I feel so sad for the protagonist, when really it is a deep sense of relatedness that is creating such sadness in me!. I suppose every person at one time or another has been in those "oversized shoes" that they can never fill!. There is such incredible pathos in your images!.!.!.beginning with the first:
"Sitting on my stool
Feet twisted inward"
Very effective, very engaging!.!.!. The reader can't help but see this happening!. I applaud you!. Thank you!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
My dear young lady,
First two suggestions, "Feet turned inwards" and "Happiness fleeting"!.
A most enjoyable expressive piece of work, disappointment, sadness and the thought that it was to be expected seep from every line!.
RobertWww@QuestionHome@Com
Yes very well put, I believe we have all tripped over or flaws, sometimes those over sized shoes, that we seem to always try to fill, cause a hindrance to who we really are!! Cheers !!Www@QuestionHome@Com
"Hi!",
A foolish poem thats not so foolish!.
A great poem once again!. many people can relate to, comparring themselves to others, that they believe they can never be as good as!.
Well Done : )Www@QuestionHome@Com
A compassion evoking poem!. flows very well!. Very thoughtful work!. Thanks!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
A clown!? maybe, I liked it very much reguardless of whether I'm right or not!. very good!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
well written
exactly how i feel at times
kudos to you!Www@QuestionHome@Com
like itWww@QuestionHome@Com