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Position:Home>Poetry> Breif short poem...what do you think?Question: Breif short poem!.!.!.what do you think!? let me know what you think!.!.!.!.!.
I wish you were here I wish you were close and those are the times that I'm wishing the most!. I gave you that ring you wear on your hand and like time in an hour glass, you slip away like sand!. I want you so bad to hold, and to touch and that is because I love you so much!. And I want you to know whatever you do I will always be here and I will always love you!.!.!.!.no matter whatWww@QuestionHome@Com Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: truthfully i liked your other one better, but it was good =)Www@QuestionHome@Com The three first lines are good!. The forth line, "ring your wear on your hand" does not sound right!. You usually say "finger"!. The fifth line is too long!. Sixth and seventh, are ok!. Then throughout the poem you rhyme, then in the eight, ninth and tenth you do not!. That makes it sound strange too!. Keep practicing, or just go make up with her!. But, if this is a poem you put together to give to her, it is great, as a novice poet showing his love for his girl!. It is from your heart which makes it the best poem in the world and she will be crazy not to love it!.Www@QuestionHome@Com The whole thing rhymes except the last line, which is rather flat anyway—“no matter what” is a pretty banal sort of sentiment, especially to end a love poem with!. I would suggest: I want you so bad to hold, and to touch and that is because I love you so much!. And I want you to know whatever you do I will always be here and I will always love you!.!.!.!.even when I shoot youWww@QuestionHome@Com That is very nice, but be a little strong hearted, if some one really loves you there is no need to remind, request, ask, wish, long for, claim etc!., etc!., but only and only to thank for ones kindness!.Www@QuestionHome@Com honestly,start dosent make sense,too much rhymy,its good for a giftcard,its a bit sad aswell,what is it!?shes broken up with you!?Www@QuestionHome@Com well it is ok but i mean it a little to much for me and a little to mushy gushy love stuff!.Www@QuestionHome@Com It was OK!. Maybe with practice you will get better!.Www@QuestionHome@Com short and sweet!. but i heard better love poems!. good job though!. !.Www@QuestionHome@Com i don,t knowWww@QuestionHome@Com |