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Question: Rhyming Poem!?
I have to write a rhyming poem about anything for summer school!. I worked really hard on this!. Is this what the teacher wants!?
once i saw a tree laying down
on the ground
it made me frown
it didn't make a sound
then i looked up high
into the sky and by
a cloud i saw a fly
and she told me not to cry
and i wondered about the tree
and everything around me
when will i fall over
like a four leaf clover!?
maybe if i was the sun
then i could float on forever
and be number one
and fall over never
Any advice about my poem!? Thanks!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Summer is fun
It keeps us warm
Splashing in the water
Never the only one
Soft clouds with an azure background
Birds singing sweetly
Above the sun-drenched ground
Summer-noises buzzing all-around
Thirsts need quenching
Lemonade is best
Let's get a glassfull
Put our thirsts to rest
Down,down the waterslide
All of us go
Fast in rhythym
And never too slow
Lets take some pictures
Of all of this fun
Proof that SummerHas just begun!.!.!.!.
I wrote this poem (Titled"Summer") To help you
Hope I did!?!?!.!.Good-luck :) :)Www@QuestionHome@Com
I saw a Tree on the ground
A fallen tree, lying down,
Silently, Not a sound
it made me sad, made me frown!.
Then I looked up to the sky
Right up high in the sky
by a cloud I saw a fly
and it told me not to cry
And I thought about the tree
and the fly or was it a flea,
and everything around me
When will it all cease to be!.
Maybe If I was like the sun
centre of all, number one
then I could go on forever
but sadly I am not that clever
I returned sadly to my car
and sniffed again at the glue jar
and so drove off into a tree
and that was the end of me!.
See magicWww@QuestionHome@Com
I find nothing wrong with the poem
you did a beautiful job writing it out
If you showed this to the teacher
questions maybe why did you frown
when the tree was down
Although I would have my hunch
It didn't make a sound
I am thinking of birds and the nest!.
You are someone who loves natureWww@QuestionHome@Com
You did very great and your teacher will see you worked really hard on it!.So give it to her with a smile and if she asks you to read it to the class ,you'll be proud just like the rest!Www@QuestionHome@Com
it was `aight!. i think the teacher will like it!. good luck!Www@QuestionHome@Com
Ok first of all poems that rhyme are basically the hardest poems to make!. I feel as if you are trying so hard to rhyme that it's taking away from the poem!. You need to take your time with this poem and don't just right down the first thing that comes to your head!. also the moct cheesiest line iin the world is once upon a time!. Even though you didn't say that you said once in the beginning of your poem!. I feel like you can do much better if you put mor effort into it!. I don't know how ole you are, but my feelings about this poem is that it was written by a fifth grader!. also here is another idea!. Maybe the reason why it's sounding so elementary is because your topic isn't developed enough!. Write about something with more meaning!. I love how you talk about when you will finally croakd, but the whole tree business throws it off line!. Try writing another one and start out with your topic and develope it more!. Don't be afraid to let your true feelings fall out into the poem!. The only way you can make a good poem is if it comes from the heart, not if some teacher forces you to do it as a summer requirement!.Www@QuestionHome@Com