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Position:Home>Poetry> New poem,comments ?Question: New poem,comments !? Words be nimble
Words be quick Words jump like rabbits Over walking sticks Plant words See them grow !? As a new found words pop up as flowers Wonders, ponder Wearing new shoes Walking to a venue Keeping in style Wearing new hairdos Andrew cuckoos Speaking in Hindu Hebrew, kungfu Lunch is at Andrews Talking to lulu They all step together All in line All in show Holding hands Showing you new answers As a carriage train of words waits At the station in deep contemplationWww@QuestionHome@Com Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Not bad!. I'd recommend combining lines though!.!.!.like this: words be nimble, words be quick words jump like rabbits over walking sticks because the short lines tend to be a little too choppy!. Don't worry about your rhymes getting lost internally, because they'll actually flow a little more naturally if you don't make them all end-stopped in the first place!. The center of the poem is a little stiff!.!.!.try extending the lines and see where the hard spot might be!. Have someone read it out loud to you so you can hear what you've actually written (reading out loud to yourself won't work because your brain cheats what you say may not always be what you've actually written!.!.!.it sounds weird, but trust me on this)!. A good start!.!.!.keep writingWww@QuestionHome@Com its ok,,,, its kinda deep,,, weLL,,Www@QuestionHome@Com |