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Question: Please read and comment!.!.!.what do you think/feel when you read my poem!?
fingers are shaking!.
I move
and cut
old photographs in shapes!.
I tell the story to a boy next to me!.
We laugh in dumbfounded awe!.
I'm glad he doesn't understand either!.
Later I leave to relieve my churning bladder!.
Later I come back, and even later, she's angry I left!.
Then her words are rain to ashes!.
I have no fire to be doused, no feelings to smother!.
All the while, still, amongst my calamity
my sympathetic nervous system runs without exhaustion
from the minds tigers!.
Neurotransmitters fire unrelenting at my pleas for peace!.
My hands still shake and now my mouth trembles
for fear of letting heart and mind spill forward
in a stew of murky muddy suppression!.
I feel even that these thoughts are not my thoughts;
these feelings are not my feelings!.
I wish they would leave me be!.
But they cling,
then fade,
then spring back with double terror!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
"I tell the story to a boy next to me!.
We laugh in dumbfounded awe!.
I'm glad he doesn't understand either!.
Later I leave to relieve my churning bladder!.
Later I come back, and even later, she's angry I left!."
(When did the 'he' next to you become the 'she' who gets angry!?
Re-read and re-read and then edit what you write!.
You obviously have the talent to become a pretty damn good poet!. What you need to practice more of is looking at your own work as objectively as possible, get into the serious habit of editing what you write before showing it to others and
learning a little about the basics of verse structure!.
You have the talent, much more than most people who write poetry!. What you do with this talent is up to you!.)Www@QuestionHome@Com
To be honest at first I followed it and then it becomes increasingly more confusing as it goes!. I like challenging poetry but it doesnt seem to stay with the same story throughout, it almost trys to hard at times!. I like the writing but in parts it gets a bit muddledWww@QuestionHome@Com
i,m sorry that i can not answer your question!? because high quality answers will be deleted immediately! little worms like you dont deserve quality!Www@QuestionHome@Com
the whole poem I thought you were talking about your mom, were you!? and if you weren't, I am totally confusedWww@QuestionHome@Com
uhhhhhhhh WHa!? i dont understand, sorry!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
this poem doesn't make any sense to me, sorry!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
ummm!.!.!. bladder!? in the 3rd set!? really is a bet weirdWww@QuestionHome@Com