Question Home

Position:Home>Poetry> Service with a smile?


Question: Service with a smile!?
Hidden meanings through out my poem, Let me know what you think

Service with a smile

Service with a smile
No need to pursue
Just a little grin
Give a little chuckle
Warn up the pen
Write out the grievances

Stamp the stark paper
Bright crimson red
File it away till next time
They may want !.!. you
To pull it out
Someday

Straighten up the stance
Maintain a pretty portrait
Gloom in the skies
Water fountains off
The pennies lay rusted

Service with a smile
Mute the commentator
No wants to listen
To much interference
Save the words for later
When no one is around

The substance stings
Eyes begin to moisten
Turn off the leaking faucet
Lay down the tattered towel
Everything feels familiar

Service with a smile
Maintain a constant temperature
The mirrored picture
Speaks a thousands words
A heavy heart
Needs rearrangement

The blanket floats
To the hardened bed
Hide the stains
That makes it imperfect
No one will even noticeWww@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Wow! Pretty impressive!. Just about perfect!. Profoundly trim!.

(I would only make a small humble suggestion:

The line 'No wants to listen'!?

It's the only line is this wonderful poem that slips out of tense!.)

Would it read better as 'None want to listen'!?Www@QuestionHome@Com

maybe Adolf did also burn cosmos poetry!? did he forget Goethe!? or would he touch shakespeare!?Www@QuestionHome@Com

Wow, i like how you used words i hate to look up lol! Very neat! =]Www@QuestionHome@Com

funny i lik it alotWww@QuestionHome@Com