Do you like my Master Plan?

Question: Do you like my Master Plan!?

Master Plan

All through my life I've had a plan,
Of how I want to end!.
The way I go will be so plain,
And performed by a friend!.

Build a stand of cedar poles,
Make it six feet high!.
Then lay my body on the top,
Face up to see the sky!.

Pile on the wood, and pile it deep,
Then light the pile afire!.
And in this way I'll leave this world,
As smoke from this hot pyre!.

My spirit turned to wispy smoke,
To make it to the sky!.
To see the great one who lives there,
To join the birds that fly!.

And when at night your fires are lit,
The warmth you feel is good!.
My spirit visits with you there,
As smoke from burning wood!.

So smoke with me the pipe of peace,
That we be always friends!.
May all our words be never cross,
If so, we'll make amends!.

Join with me here, these words to write,
And drink from earthen jars!.
And we can talk of things such as,
Will smoke get up to Mars!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

Your soul will not leave this world as smoke; it will leave as light, accompanied by the sweet strings and choirs of the angels singing you home!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Most of your poem reads well, but there are a few forced lines and rhymes you probably should edit!. also, line 4 of stanza 1 starts out on the wrong foot!.!.!.there's nothing wrong with the words, but if you have someone read that stanza out loud to you you'll see how they stumble on that line!. Finally, the last two lines really need some editing!.!.the concept is good, they're just awkward and need some editing!.

Overall, nice poem!.!.!.keep writingWww@QuestionHome@Com

This was great!. I loved the selection of traditions that you have used!. The funeral pyre - used by the ancients - from Vikings to Greeks to Romans!. The great spirit in the sky accepts the peace offering and the soul in the cloud of smoke!. The final journey should be one of personal meaning and heightened tradition!. Question - would you need a burning permit and environmental impact clearance!? LOL ?Www@QuestionHome@Com

Yours is both a spiritual and earthbound poem with a definite plan for your future inevitability!. Personally, fires scare me! I want my physical body to return to the earth from whence I came!. My spirit, however, will reach Mars and then some!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I'll add to the other constructive comments, the poem is interestingly descriptive!. But do I agree with this plan!? Definitely not! Our differences noted!. Thanks for sharing your views in a well written rhyme!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

In our community, we usually cremate our dear in the way of your Master Plan!. We dont make a pole, but lay the logs horizontly!.
Not that I am looking forward to your Master Plan!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I am happy to be reminded of the way Americans attempt to pretty up death!. Your words touch me deeply!. Your smoke will go to Mars and beyond to the edge of the Universe!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

D- While I have not caught "all" of your postings, this is one of your finest for me!. Perhaps personal reasons slant my comments, but man oh man!.
The nail is crushed here!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

The smoke will ascend my friend!. The fragrance shall be as a potpourri of decency and loyalty!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Beautiful!. Highly spiritual!. Mother Earth!.
There's more than a tad of the Viking in you, sir!Www@QuestionHome@Com

drink from earthen jars!.!.!. i love that thought!.!.!.

your proposal is lofty and link forning , mightly native!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Love it and how you ended with a little jest!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I want to be buried at sea!.!.!.or maybe a pond will do!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Master plan, I wonder!.

Your words are bitter/sweet of what is to come to each of us
one day!. And why fear death for it is part of life, If we had known of birth, would we have feared!?
Since I had no part in my birth, I have no plan of my exit, Tho!.
I know many who do!. I have a plot that awaits me next to my life time mate, How my son and his children do for their feelings will suit me, (I guess) As I believe partings are for the living!.

Yet your poem, your plan is a lovely one, I hope it is to be, but
not soon! I don't know about Mars, Could it be heaven, if so
hope to meet you there! Kudos for your written word!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Your Master Plan sounds good to me!.I hope it is not for a very long time!.
Myself being of Irish background, I want an old-fashioned wake!.Music played by daughter's friend who is a master on the piano!.Drinks, jokes, dancing!.I know my daughter would follow my wishes, but my son would be mortified!.He is the religious one in the family!.I know my friends would say Gale did it her way!.always fun right to the end!.Life is for the living, and how many times do you get all your friends, your children's friends to-gether at the same time!.Nothing I like doing better than having a good party!.It would be a celebration of the life I led!.Here's hoping they follow my wishes!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Poems like this are very hard for me to respond too!. It's not that I fear death because I don't!. It's just that they are so very personal!. It's a beautiful and well written poem full of wonderful imagery!. I'd also like to think that our final wishes will always be fulfilled and I hope that since this is your wish it will be done!.
Mine is to return to the Earth as green and natural as possible!. plain pine box and no preservatives with a carved boulder and rose bush for a marker!. It would be even better if I could be lain to rest in my own garden!. This is my plan!.
Thank you for sharing!.!.!.I'm sure we'll all meet on Mars someday!.Www@QuestionHome@Com