Are any of these Senryu, any good and wich one is better 1 or 2!?
1!.)
Ceremony
Fowl lay as egg hatch,
Woman bares child!.
Or
2!.)
Ceremony,
Seeds are sowed, eggs hatch
Woman bares child!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
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Position:Home>Poetry> Which one better:?Question: Which one better:!? Are any of these Senryu, any good and wich one is better 1 or 2!?
1!.) Ceremony Fowl lay as egg hatch, Woman bares child!. Or 2!.) Ceremony, Seeds are sowed, eggs hatch Woman bares child!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: I agree with Neonman!. Seeds aren't sowed, they're sown!. The second one is better because the first one defines the two players as fowl and woman, which are NOT opposing suggestions!. I think the poems are much more closely related to haiku than they are to senryu!. Senryu traditionally has a very dark or disturbing feel, or is outright nonsensical!. If you changed "Ceremony" to something like "Spring is now here" or "Springtime Showing", then it would definately be on its way to a legitimate haiku (super haiku always has a seasonal reference, though I suppose the birthing references would count)!.Www@QuestionHome@Com I like both!. Almost a dichotomy though!. The second would be more plausible!. "seeds are sown!.!.!.egg implanted" another thought!.Www@QuestionHome@Com number 2 :-)Www@QuestionHome@Com 1Www@QuestionHome@Com I like # 2Www@QuestionHome@Com |