My poem "I daydreamed" please comment?

Question: My poem "I daydreamed" please comment!?

Its about a girl that i use to like!.!.!.!.!.

Together smile
in my hold we hug
precious all while
brown eyes snug
id fall in and out
my love a dream
heart wandered about
star gazer it seemed
a hopeful smile
i had painted on
hers still lovely while
i daydreamed, shes gone!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

A short poem of twelve lines !.This is a poem on the theme of love!.
The poet went on day-dreaming about her love, hoping that she will stay, but , nay one day she was gone!.
The theme of the poem a short love-affair and the rhythm chosen also is threrefore in iambic di-meter, with an occasional tri-meter!. The melody of the music in the rhymes of each line also chimes within us to further the cause of that lyrical echo!.
it is a such a small poem, still the poet has managed to build up an emotion of love ! quite remarkable !
For a moment , while the hug , the smile, the heart wanders, the love lingers in that world of dreams!. --- But then, Alas ! She's gone!

Was she the ' La belle Dame Sans Merci ' of John Keats !? Nothing of that short ! She is simply a present day school-girl quite real, but due to the fantacising and day-dreaming of the poet, she is gone !

There is a straightforwardness, a simple heart, and a profound sincerity in the love of the poet!. Let us seep for a while in that honest emotion, that beautiful fragrance and drink deep the paerial stream !!Www@QuestionHome@Com

very very goodWww@QuestionHome@Com

sweet!. it makes sense, it flows, i like it, its good!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

This suck!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

cuteWww@QuestionHome@Com

I very much enjoyed it!. Good work!Www@QuestionHome@Com

no offense dude, but it makes u look desperateWww@QuestionHome@Com