Position:Home>Poetry> I wrote this poem when my mother passed away. How does it read?
Question: I wrote this poem when my mother passed away!. How does it read!?
I never wrote a poem in my life; but after my dear mother passed away (cancer) I wrote this; tell me what you think of it!?
-
I wonder who I really am
I face uncertain future ~
Of life and past and present wound
In my spirit: Tortured!
Linking thoughts from space to space
I go looking for my Maker ~
A space divine; and from behind
A view that is uncertain!
But once I knew, or thought I did
A special place for me
And mother spirit would come
And there to rescue me!
But tide has turned and she is gone~
No longer there to play
Now there is no one, to come and comfort me
A chapter new; is starting too ~
I wonder what will be!?
I am alive
I will survive
This latest tragedy!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
I think you have a real talent for poetry, your Mom sounds like a lovely person, sorry to hear she has gone!. She has left a legacy though, YOU!.x Keep up with poetry!.xWww@QuestionHome@Com
Touching poem! but:
I wonder who I really am
I face uncertain future ~
Of life and past and present wound (This sentence sounds odd, I mean: you mentioned "future" and then, past and present wound: it isn't connected)
In my spirit: Tortured!
Linking thoughts from space to space
I go looking for my Maker ~
A space divine; and from behind
A view that is uncertain! (it needs something, I don't really know)Www@QuestionHome@Com
a pathetic and bad poem! of course it belongs to the woman who is one category only! do you think there is a proof you will believe in!?Www@QuestionHome@Com
its good but i think you need to take out the 3rd to last line i think that you should write somthing like am i alive or will i surviveWww@QuestionHome@Com
wow, for your first poem, that was really good!. I'm sorry about your mom!. She sounds like she was an extrordinary person, to inspire this poem!. Great job!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
A Great Tribute to your Mom!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
a really great first poem!Www@QuestionHome@Com