This is maybe as dark as I can get it to go. What do you think?

Question: This is maybe as dark as I can get it to go!. What do you think!?

*****
RESERVATIONS FOR ONE MILLION

The fly waits patiently
Rubbing his little black hands together
He sees a million me’s
A million maggot meal

His iridescent green body twitches
So excited to find such a feast
Me and my meat, waiting to serve
And the fly salivates

From his ceiling perch
He sees my hand tremble
The gun wobbling in a million unsteady grips
“Get on with it!” he shouts, “We’re Hungry!”

*****Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

OMG, TD!.!.!.!.!.!.!.The image is horrifying!.!.!.especially after we got home and saw 4 outdoor cats feasting on a big bird, already infested with worms!.!.!.!.!.eww!. Nice poem, though!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Dark!?
As in lacking brightness, expressing fears, and exhibiting doom!?
Ahh, not really dark, according to my definition!.
Just a poem about a fly!. To most people that is sort of a dingy insect, but I respect them, and don't think of them as putrid creatures, because they were originally made by nature to be the way they are!.
Well, maybe if one landed on me arm, I'd worry about bacteria, but outside of that my dislike for flies goes no further!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Suicide does offer fringe benefits to some creatures! The only critique I have is the word "salivates"!. It, to me, does not seem to fit!. The rest is dark as you stated!.

Edit: Troll, get a life!. Read the poem, read the comment and look at the fact that I gave a star!. If you can't understand, I will be glad to send a memo!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Hummm!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.Do you think that's real air you're breathing!?

I think flies have A!.D!.D!., with no time to wait!.
That is my observation here in Feckinfly, as there is always something rotting in the tall grass!.
Vultures, especially Turkey vultures are patient!.

I can see the shadow, but not the darkness in your poem!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Whoa!.

Dark, but also shows the food chain and reasons for the fly, who bugs us all!.

Great description of the fly!.
T!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I really liked this poem a lot as it turned out all the way differently then i thought it would and it was a cleaver poem to me!.Your always up with great things T!.D!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

The subtlety of this makes it very interesting! Excellent title, too! In all, it's not _obviously_ dark, but you have to dig a little bit deeper than the surface!. Nice job:)Www@QuestionHome@Com

You certainly captured the pesty fly, where is the fly swatter!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Graphic, strong visual image!. Yes it is very dark, but I can clearly see its message!. Hope you are not writing about yourself here!. I like having you around!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Enticingly disgusting! A triumph of artistic inspiration over good taste!. I eagerly await your ode to the dung beetle!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

nah, you can go dark greener!.!.

how about:
'and the fly probosculates'Www@QuestionHome@Com

I am sure he found you as delicious as steak!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Very Nice !.!.!.!.!.

Don't worry I'll have a legion of spider's on call to avenge the feasting!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

That is pretty dark TD but I like it!. Thank you for sharing!.
Love, honeyWww@QuestionHome@Com

It has a sorta anti-dark effect on me!. I think it's 'cause I find the behavior and speech of the fly to be so AMUSING!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Brilliantly sad!.!.!.!.I trembled as I read it!. Very vivid, and yes, dark final thoughts!.

AlwaysWww@QuestionHome@Com