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Question: I need more comments and suggestion on this please!?
This is for a play!. Character: The Grim Reaper a!.k!.a Angel of Death
I'm thirsty for your putrid blood
I search for your smell
satisfy my lust
You won't see me in the dark
You can't see me in the light
Cause I'm not there
I'm everywhere
The reaper held tight in my hands
One swing harvest thousand mourns
Oh the music to my ears
The melody of sorrow, the taste of grieve
To see your horror is my greatest pleasure
Your heart in my hands crushed with a roar
and I will be the fearsome adored
Always waited but somehow ignored
Prepare, all things that have a life
My invitation can't be deniedWww@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
It's very good!. Just a personal thought!.!. the first 3 lines seems more vampiric than grim reaper like!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Wow!! I'm impressed, I write poetry, have for years!. This is very good, attention to detail, you should be proud of yourself!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
my goodness thats amazing! a lil scary kuz i didnt read the part about it being for a play,but truly thats awesome!.i write poems as well,just not as well as that!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Okay!.!.!.try this edit; I've tried to correct some beat, voice and agreement errors, plus add a line or two to even out the flow and thought!.
I thirst for your immortal soul
I search by life's sweet smell
to satisfy my insatiable lust
You won't see me in the dark
You can't see me in the light
For I'm not there!.!.!.
I'm everywhere!
The scythe held tight in my hands
One swing harvests a thousand mourns
Oh, what music to my ears
Sweet melody of sorrow, such harmony of grief
To see your horror's my greatest pleasure
To feel you suspire my greatest relief
Your heart in my hands, crushing its roar
and I, the fearsome one, at last adored
Always there waiting, but till then ignored
Prepare, all things that have a life
My invitation won't be denied
Forgive my nature, fear my name
And prepare the tears to be cried
hope this is what you were looking for!.Www@QuestionHome@Com