I sit, joking
a girl points out my fingers are shaking!.
I move
and cut
old photographs in shapes!.
I tell the story to a boy next to me!.
We laugh in dumbfounded awe!.
I'm glad he doesn't understand either!.
Later I leave to relieve my churning bladder!.
Later I come back, and even later, she's angry I left!.
Then her words are rain to ashes!.
I have no fire to be doused, no feelings to smother!.
All the while, still, amongst my calamity
my sympathetic nervous system runs without exhaustion
from the minds tigers!.
Neurotransmitters fire unrelenting at my pleas for peace!.
My hands still shake and now my mouth trembles
for fear of letting heart and mind spill forward
in a stew of murky muddy suppression!.
I feel even that these thoughts are not my thoughts;
these feelings are not my feelings!.
I wish they would leave me be!.
But they cling,
then fade,
then spring back with double terror!.Www@QuestionHome@Com