Title: Divine Being re-edited.?

Question: Title: Divine Being re-edited!.!?

Please, providee Positive or negative feedback!. Thx

Title: Divine Being By Tia Metcher!.

God is the essence, the fabric, the space,
God is the wind that blows past your face,

God is the oceans, the seas and the rain,
God is the one, who will heal all pain,

God is the suns luminous Glow,
God is the questions and answers unknown,

God is future, past and present,
God is time, entire assent!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

God is the essence, the fabric, the space!.
God is the wind that blows past your face!.

God is the oceans, the seas and the rain!.
God is the one who will heal all pain!.

God is the sun's luminous glow!.
God is the questions and answers unknown!.

God is future, past and present!.
God is time, entire assent!.

(Assent: to agree to something especially after thoughtful consideration!.)

The above is re-written with proper usage of commas, periods, etc!. Overall, this poem is a pretty good effort!. But the word 'assent' does not work properly as you've used it here because you're changing tense!.

Most people who write rhyming verse end up choosing words that aren't the right (or best) words simply because they rhyme!. There are two ways to correct this habit: The first (but not the easiest) way is to expand your vocabulary so that you'll have many choices (including the best possible words) when finding words to rhyme!. The second, and easiest, way to avoid using the wrong verbs, adjectives and adverbs is to write poetry in blank or free verse where rhyming isn't important!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Dear galactia7,
Silly articulate you!.
You definitely did not need to post a revise of your poem!.
All of us who have read your poem, knew your insignificant mistakes in the first edition!.

Unless you wanted more reads and comments!?!?Www@QuestionHome@Com

wow I love it!. Its lovely and true!. give us some more/ ;)Www@QuestionHome@Com