Hmmm, do you like this poem?

Question: Hmmm, do you like this poem!?

It's funny, I think
how wishes begin:
Branching form hope;
living within!.

The way I see it!.
The world from my point of view;
Is that wishing and wishing
won't help your dreams come true!.

My advice: wake up
and create your reality!.
Sculpt your life a masterpeice
of whatever you want to be!.

Don't let oppurtunity pass!.
Don't live in regret!.
Make your heart's content matter
and don't forget!.

Make something of your life
Don't stand still imagining more!.
Turn fear into bravery
head out the door!.

We all wish for love and
to be independent!.
But once a chance slips away
There's no guarantee for a second!.

The only wish that will never end
Is the dream of true love!.
Yet it doesn't hurt to wish on a star
hanging so heavenly up above!.

I don't like the very last line, it seems cliche!. But I like the rythmic lines, what do you think!? also, any title suggestions would be appreciated!. ThanksWww@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

I really like your third stanza!. This is quality work, good job!. The rhythm is good, and I think your last line is just fine but since you are the poet make sure you like it in the end!. For a title, try using a section of your favorite line, one that really sums up the total content of the poem!. Or pick something like "wishes" that is a bit more generic!. Keep writing!Www@QuestionHome@Com

I like it!. My only critique is that the rhythm seems to change a bit!. The first stanza has shorter lines and the others have longer lines!. Maybe for the 2nd stanza something like "The way I see it / From my point of view / wishing and wishing/!.!.!." etc!.!.!.!. Of course it's poetry, you can do whatever you want with it!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

omgosh that is a very lovely poem!. you should say it at a poetry contest!. a good title would be "deep within my mind i think"
if you dont mind can i say it at my schools poetry contest next i guess i would have to say author unknown!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I like it a lot!. It actually means something real!. Too many people do just keep dreaming instead of doing something about it!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Drop the poetry angle and have it published as "22 ways to have a better life!!!" in a woman's mag!.!.!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Wishing and Wishing is kinda weird!.

Maybe only one!?
I think it sounds better!.

Other wise, amazing poem!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Another gem!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

thats Awsome! Very good!
title ideas =
Make a Wish
Wake Up
Wish upon a star
Dreaming of True LoveWww@QuestionHome@Com

i LOVE this poem! its so deep and meaningfull! It really shows a meaning!. The last line is great, dont change anything!Www@QuestionHome@Com

I like it, I do agree with you on the last line though, a bit cliche!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

i like it!. the name of it should be Just Another Helpful Poem!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Simply great!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

its very beautiful!. if you write poems and publish them id be your biggest fan
well doneWww@QuestionHome@Com

very nice!. I like it!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

oo i like it!.!.i do agree tho the last line does sound clicheWww@QuestionHome@Com

Well done and it is soo true!Www@QuestionHome@Com

not bad!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

i think its pretty good!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

yessss its very good, i would know, i write poetry myself!Www@QuestionHome@Com

, my love is like a red, red rose,
That is newly sprung in June!.
O, my love is like the melody,
That is sweetly played in tune!.

As fair are you, my lovely lass,
So deep in love am I,
And I will love you still, my Dear,
Till all the seas go dry!.

Till all the seas go dry, my Dear,
And the rocks melt with the sun!
O I will love you still, my Dear,
While the sands of life shall run!.

And fare you well, my only Love,
And fare you well a while!
And I will come again, my Love,
Although it were ten thousand mile!Www@QuestionHome@Com

This poem sounds like something that might be read at a high school graduation!. Sentimental and uplifting, but slightly cliche and unoriginal!.
The ideas and emotion expressed are very legitimate and beautiful; however, the informality gives the poem a rather immature or short lived air!. Without the grace and splendor of the majestic verses written in the olden days, this poem is a bit lackluster!. Poetry thrives on creative and out of the ordinary use of words: in order to achieve that classic feel, the vocabulary and dialect used must be much more developed!. Eloquence is essential!.
This is, of course, only an opinion!. best of luck!Www@QuestionHome@Com