I just wrote a poem. Tell me what you think. Be honest?

Question: I just wrote a poem!. Tell me what you think!. Be honest!?

He whispers in her ear
As she laughs with pure delight!.
The meaning of what he said is clear!.
But somehow it gives her a fright!.

She wonders why he said this!?
She wonders if it's true!?
As he leans in for a kiss
She doesn't know what to do!.

She gently leaned away from him
As he looked at her in pure dismay!.
Thinking that his chances are slim,
The girl begins say:

If what you whispered in my ear is true
Then all I want, is to be with you!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

You know what i really liked it, nice flow, easy read, very enjoyable, and so very sweet!!! Good Job!!!Www@QuestionHome@Com

As said, work on your rhythm, it deteriorates as you reach the end!. also, I think the rhythm of the second stanza is perfect for what its about (playful and wondering)!. I think you can edit this better, because the rhyming seemed a bit too much too cheesy, or even obvious choices!. BUT, it is an good poem, with a few technical problems that can be fixed by editing!.

Read it out loud and see how it sounds, then edit things as you wish, if you wish!.

Good job!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

1!. It is ok!. But it is not worth selling!. This poetry does not convey emotion, just the behavior of two people!.

2!. This really isn't the correct forum for judging peotry!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Its good but i think it would be better with more rhymy words :))Www@QuestionHome@Com

It's ok!. Work on rhythm a bit!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

It's sweetWww@QuestionHome@Com

it's not badWww@QuestionHome@Com

i love it!!!Www@QuestionHome@Com