How's my poem? please critique.?

Question: How's my poem!? please critique!.!?

I have this state of greed
That never fit the words I speak
It contradicts my sleep
By waking in my times of need
Good taste in sanity
Won't pass along from you to me
Because my friend, indeed
You'll never live the way I breathe!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

I like it!. It is summing up a independence!. I think it is wonderful, because, what it underscores is the lie which relishes this fate!.

Suddenly I intake a sharp breath, not escaping the respiration!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

maturely!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. this doesn't make any sense!. the same criticism you gave me could easily apply to you!. and I quote
"You sound like you just pieced together words to make it catchy!."
I'm not saying it just because you said it about a STANZA in my poem!. That's how I truly feel!. And now I have critiqued you maturelyWww@QuestionHome@Com

I really love this poem!.
Its got such good metaphore and simile and all the things a poem needs!.

Theres just one little problem!.

I would like this poem alot more if!.!.!.
YOU WROTE IT!.

Copying is plagerizing!.
ILLEGAL!.

Try writing a poem yourself next time and ill check it out!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

When i was born i got that greed
i wanted only but to breed
i humped and jumped
and bred with many
i did it and i paid them penny
But now i have my wife with me
and only wish that she was he
i only wish that she had meny
great balls and bigger ,larger fenny!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

um pretty good it kinda goes from one idea to another without smoothness!. its choppy but its a good start!. have smoother ideasWww@QuestionHome@Com

i like it!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com