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Position:Home>Poetry> Rate My Poem and please tell me how you felt when you read it!?!?Question: Rate My Poem and please tell me how you felt when you read it!!?!!? "Here I Wait"
Here I wait for you to come!. My love is beating like a drum!. I wait for you to come and rescue me!. I still do sit here humming to the sound of the wind and the trees!. I cry for you to come and go!. I want out of this solid stone!. My love is free and yet I'm not!. My soul is trapped inside a box!. The rain carries my tears to you!. They let you know how I cry for you!. My heart is cracked!. I still do cry!. And yet I die inside!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: i like it!. i felt!.!.i cant say but i can put it into a short poem!. ''love me or hate me that my obssesion love me or hate me thats the question'' it teaches ppl that when u love someone, theres a important !? u need to slove!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Honestly, read some contemporary American poetry and you'll see the difference!. Poetry now is concrete!.!.!. comparing your love to nature is trite and overdone!. You say "my love is like a beating drum" but don't explain HOW it's like a beating drum!. You don't want to SAY you're crying, but show that you're crying!. also, your rhyme scheme is very sing-song!. This works for "funny" poetry, but not "serious" poetry!.Www@QuestionHome@Com That was really pretty, but i feel the rhymes were slightly forced!. I don't know what you were feeling while writing this, but extreme hate, love, and emotion didn't come through as much as you probably wanted!. i really like the "I want out of this solid stone!." that part really spoke to me!. also, the end is really good!. In a sad hopeful way of course!. Overall, it's a really good poem!. I felt thoughtful and i felt like i should be doing more with my life!.Www@QuestionHome@Com i liked it!. that last sentence in the first stanza is a little long and ruins the flow though!. good poem though!.Www@QuestionHome@Com I think this is a very good poem!. It's passionate and it doesn't leave you hanging and it's totally expressive!. Great job! ^^Www@QuestionHome@Com The rhyming seems forced to me, but I like the format!.Www@QuestionHome@Com It's okay!. It would be better if it wasn't a rhyming poem!. It would be more intense that way!.Www@QuestionHome@Com It's got cheesy rhyming!. Usually, the best poems don't rhyme!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Good job =)Www@QuestionHome@Com its a reat poem i sometimfeel that way too!. gret job!Www@QuestionHome@Com |