A poem called BRAVERY?

Question: A poem called BRAVERY!?

they say a hero
is the one
that lays down love
and weilds a gun!.
but what every
pure child knows
the bravest way
of conquering foes
is not through war
nor through guns!.
the secret kept
by the little ones
is that anyone
can hide
on that ugly,
armoured inside
of a tank!.
True courage
rears it's lovely head
in those who stand defiant,
fighting for peace instead!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

I love the message, good use of form as well!. If you want to make it better though you need to look at your beat!. You have a good rhythm in your work but you have to watch the number of syllables per line!. There can't be too much discrepancy!. Reading over it here I would make these changes!.

"But what every/child knows (minus 1 syllable)", "the bravest way/to conquer foes (minus 1 syllable)" "is not through war/and not through guns (plus 1 syllable) "the secret kept/by little ones (minus 1 syllable)"

also, you've chosen a rhyming scheme and then broken with it!. After you rhyme the word "inside" you have five lines finishing the poem and that means you break from your "no rhyme, rhyme, no rhyme, rhyme" rhyming scheme!.

Remember that you want people to be able to read through anything you write without pause and without thought!. Every time something breaks out of the norm it distracts the reader from the enjoyment of the reading!.

The beat I got from reading this, incidentally, and the one I was trying to keep to by increasing or decreasing by one sylable is a "1-2-1-2-1-222" tap that out with two fingers and you'll get the idea!.

Wonderful message though!. I especially loved the "true courage rears it's lovely head" Great imagery!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I think it is well written and thought provoking,k which is what I admire most about my favorite poetry!. also this could be two poems if you cut it in half!. just stop after "nor through guns!."

Just a thought I hope I have not offended you by suggesting this!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I love the point your are making!.!.!.

The statement is loud and clear!.!.!.
And I agree with you completely!.!.!.?Www@QuestionHome@Com