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Question: For this poem, which 2 stanzas sound better!?!?
It's a poem about being so bitter because of a traumatizing childhood and never seeing the good in people, and then this girl meets someone who she sees the good in and feels !.!.not necessarily love but a good feeling for the first time in so long!.!.!.he lifts her out of her dark past so to speak
1!. I saw the good in you,
Out of everyone else around
And this foreign feeling I will pursue
An unknown feeling so profound
You glowed from everyone else
In a crowd of crows you were a dove
Refuse to lose this feeling that dwells
Which I think is called love!.
2!. I saw the good in you,
Out of everyone else around
And this foreign feeling I will pursue
The friend i've been waiting for i've found
scratch the last stanza!.!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
omg THREE is the best!
but they are all very good!Www@QuestionHome@Com
Wow, you're really good! I think it could be turned into a great song! Seriously!.
Have you ever read the Twilight saga!? Your poem reminds me a little of that!.
I'd say keep them all!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Oh wow!.!.!.that's!.!.!.!.that's really good!. The first two stanzas I'd say sound the best to me!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
I enjoyed all of them!. keep up the good work!!!!Www@QuestionHome@Com
"And this foreign feeling I will pursue!.!.!."
That was too long to keep the beat going, there were too many syllables (you had 6, 8, 10, 8) it's alright, but keep it at 6 maybe!? I would at least replace "I will" with "I'd"!.
In the first, don't use feeling twice, it just sounds like you ran out of words (no offense, sometimes we just write like that by accident)!. Replace one "feeling"!.
"Which I think is called love!.!.!."
At least use a comma between think and is!. I feel a pause there to keep the beat going!.!.!.:)
But I like the first, the last line in the second one is a little strange to say!.!.!.
I liked it, though, :DWww@QuestionHome@Com