poem? I call it "LIFE?"?

Question: Do you like my song/poem!? I call it "LIFE!?"!?

Cut off your neck,
Shoot yourself in the head,
Life is over,
You are a goner!.

Get hit by a truck,
Strangle your own neck,
You are dead,
Is this life!?

Drink some poison,
You will be dead,
Before the sun sets,
Face an accident,
Dead it instantaneous,

Life is a fake hell,
Life is nothing but a fragile shell,
Life is full of sorrow,
Alive today dead tomorrow

By:
Anti Christ !.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

Wow, your a natural poet/writer! I can just tell by reading it that you have a very interesting and creative mind!.!.!.how old are you!?

The short lines sound very blunt and it adds effect to the poem when its read, i love it its brilliant!. Its not boring, it doesnt drag on!. It catches you and draws you in!.!.

i cant find the word to describe it!.!.!.!.its very mysterious!.!.!.and i love mysterious poems!.
Well done!
xWww@QuestionHome@Com

Kewl!.!.!.antichristdude

from the darkness of the cave
comes out a sad shadow

it plays sad music
it sings with sorrow

"such is life", it sings
how easy to lose it

"how easy to hate
how easy to hate it

if u hate life and u hate death
then will u lend me a single breath!?

i am but nothing
no eyes, no nose, but only feeling"

away, it retreats in cold, black darkness
it sings with sorrow

for it knows!.!.!.
u won't last till tomorrow

---I'm comparing u to the shadow---sad, talented and obviously knows wat it's talking aboutWww@QuestionHome@Com

I found it to be (While expressive), a little bland!. I liked the last stanza, it was really good, well worded!. But the others lacked substance!.

Try to avoid 'poems' like this
E!.g!.
We're all going to die,
So why not take your life,
You shouldn't even try,
You can take it with a knife!.

While illustrating a point, it lacks substance!. Anyone can talk about killing themselves, but it takes a true poet to engage the reader to feel the sadness of the author, and what they're going through!.

Keep trying, you'll get it soon!.

P!.S!. Keep along the lines of the last stanza "Life is a fake hell!.!.!. nothing but a fragile shell"
I can see and feel this, but it was too late in the poem, try to write like this, use metaphor and simile!.

Check out my profile to see my poetry, I think you'll like it!Www@QuestionHome@Com

wow! very emo! my 5 year old cousin could do better than this! Your just so fake and unrealistic of what life is really about!. Taking risks, love and friendships, and family!. Not life being over!. I suggest you rewrite the poem and include somethings that happen DURING life!. Because this peom sucks!Www@QuestionHome@Com

that is really!.!.!.!.!.
emoish!.

kinda!.!.

actually not really
the only part emoish is the "cut off your neck" partWww@QuestionHome@Com

Wearisome, melodramatic tosh!.
Your assumed name says it all!.
A more mature poet is within you!. Give him some air!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I think it would probably sound better to music!. But I can't say I've never shared the feeling!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Yes angel, it's another great one!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Hmmm!.!.!.could you perhaps just make your next poem a little LESS cheerful!?Www@QuestionHome@Com

please write some poems with a happy soulWww@QuestionHome@Com

Love it!.!.!.!.!.!.xWww@QuestionHome@Com

god u must of bin verey mad,!!!!
try writting some happy poems, but u'v got tallentWww@QuestionHome@Com