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Question: Want to help me make sense of my poem with an answer!?
I'm drowning in a lake called deceipt!.
I tread in it, like an island of truth!.
It's better than my usual swimming pool!.
I'm usually in the lake of my misery!.
Very often, I wear my heart on my sleeve!.
Do you!? Really!?
People accuse me of having tricks up my sleeve!.
Is it the question or statements that seems silly!?
I ask myself, sometimes, "Self, why do you smoke!?"
I hear, "Well, people take my sleeves!. Just for a joke!.
They accuse my sleeve of being irrellevent!.
I tell them, "It's all that can keep me warm!."
They tell me that the rest of my body is surely absent of love!.
I respond, "The rest of me is no more than my heart's glove!."
Am I the sleeve upon which I wear my own heart!?
Is love a sleeve for my heart, or vice versa!?
That seems to hardly make sense!.
I tend to think that my heart is my love's scapegoat!.
If love wears hearts as their sleeve,
and hearts our worn upon sleeves!.!.!.
Why can't I seem to find love!?Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Don't drown in deceipt before I get to shoot you!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
I loved the beginning of your poem but then it kept on saying the same thing over and over!. Change the middle up a bit or word it differently!. Ask different questions!.
Over all i give it a 6 out of 10!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
I think the poem could be a lot better if it was reworked, reworded a little, and just a few changes!. I will place it here for a few suggestions if I may!?
I'm drowning in a lake called deceit!.
I tread in it, like an island of truth!.
It's better than my usual swimming pool!.
I'm usually in the lake of my misery!.
Very often, I wear my heart on my sleeve!.
Why can't I seem to find love!?
People accuse me of having tricks up my sleeve!.
Is it the question or statements that seems silly!?
They accuse my sleeve of being irrelevant!.
I tell them, "It's all that can keep me warm!."
They tell me that the rest of my body is surely absent of love!.
I respond, "The rest of me is no more than my heart's glove!."
Am I the sleeve upon which I wear my own heart!?
Is love a sleeve for my heart, or vice versa!?
That seems to hardly make sense!.
I tend to think that my heart is my love's scapegoat!.
If love wears hearts as their sleeve,
and hearts are worn upon sleeves!.!.!.
Then the heart is a lovely adornment,
For my lonely sleeve!.
Only my opinion, no offense meant!. I omitted 2 lines completely: Do you!? Really!? and I ask myself, sometimes, "Self, why do you smoke!?"Neither of these seemed to have a pertinent use in the poem!. Thanks for sharing!.Www@QuestionHome@Com